|Muffin, Captain of my Heart|
One of the hardest things to do is say goodbye to your favorite little coffee buddy. My sweet boy Muffinheart died in my arms last Tuesday. I held him and kissed him as he took his last breath. And I saw clearly that he left his little furry body, but he did not ever really "leave" me. Since that sad day, my bodhi-squirrel has been communicating many words of wisdom to me.
Muffin pointed out that in our lives we have many, many relationships... with men, women, animals, the trees and plants, our work, our passions, etc. He showed me that when any of these relationships end,
we experience a kind of death. But regardless of what ends, "we" are still very present and intact.
Everything we can see outside of us comes and goes.
Muffin explained that who/what we are NEVER comes and goes. It is ALWAYS here.
And then he asked me,
"Do you know what "that" is? What is it that you are?"
And he answered his own question:
You are LOVE. We squirrels call it
He continued... "Humans have words for everything which makes it harder for them to accept change. We squirrels just go from one situation to another, but we never label anything. For example when you shed tears because I am not sitting with you in the morning time, you label your feelings. You say you are "sad" or that you are experiencing "grief". We squirrels don't use such words.
In fact, we squirrels call everything by the same name.
We would say what you are feeling is LOVE.
We are, squirrels and humans alike, part of the ONE SQUIRRELUMINOSITY. In your words, you would say it is the great Space of Love that pervades absolutely everything. When our dear teacher Ramana Maharshi was dying, his students said to him,
"Master, please don't leave us".
And he replied, "But where would I go?"
You see, there is nowhere to go to... because all is the "space of love".
The best advice I can give you is to stop describing everything with words and just allow your feelings to come and go. Just let yourself feel them. After a beloved one's death, the feelings you have may be very intense, but they will not "kill" you. I promise. Actually, if you just embrace what you are feeling you will dissolve into pure love. And you will experience a most exquisite nectar... the taste of bliss. And what could be better than that?